(Dir: Les Mayfield, Starring Colin Farrell, Scott Caan, Ali Larter, Gabriel Macht, Gregory Smith, Harris Yulin, Will McCormack, Ronny Cox, Terry O' Quinn, Nathaniel Arcand, Kathy Bates, and Timothy Dalton)

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BY: DAVID PERRY

Poor attempt at bringing the Jesse James story to young audiences go for quick action and unintelligible plotting to make a film that could only make sense if watched in slow motion.  Colin Ferrell, fresh off of a breakthrough performance in Tigerland, is wasted like many of his elders, including Kathy Bates, Ronny Cox, Timothy Dalton, and Harris Yulin.

(Dir: Simon Wincer, Starring Paul Hogan, Linda Kozlowski, Jere Burns, Jonathan Banks, Alec Wilson, Gerry Skilton, Steve Rackman, Serge Cockburn, Aida Turturro, and Paul Rodriguez)

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BY: DAVID PERRY

The film that should hopefully stand as the final Dundee in the long forgotten franchise, Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles merely changes locales from the first (New York to, well, Los Angeles) and adds a rambunctious kid.   Predictability ensues.

(Dir: Courtney Solomon, Starring Justin Whalin, Marlon Wayans, Jeremy Irons, Zoe McLellan, Thora Birch, Kristen Wilson, Richard O'Brien, Tom Baker, Lee Arenberg, Edward Jewesbury, Robert Miano, and Bruce Payne)

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BY: DAVID PERRY

Completely nonsensical film adaptation of the popular card game comes closer to Super Mario Bros. than X-Men.  Watching Thora Birch (sandwiching this role between American Beauty and Ghost World) and Jeremy Irons play their parts at the highest level of camp could be the most painful sight this year.  Marlon Wayans should never be allowed on a movie set again.

(Dir: Andrzej Bartkowiak, Starring Steven Seagal, DMX, Isaiah Washington, Anthony Anderson, Michael Jai White, Bill Duke, Jill Hennessy, Tom Arnold, Bruce McGill, David Vadim, Eva Mendes, Matthew G. Taylor, and Paolo Mastropietro)

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BY: DAVID PERRY

Steven Seagal's last ditch attempt to revive his waning career through the lens of en vogue director Andrzej Bartkowiak (Romeo Must Die) only leaves the audience wondering what happened to that virile, interesting award-caliber actor from Under Siege II: Dark Territory.  DMX comes in for some duration of the film to show some support beyond his egregious cover of the Al Green classic "Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone."

(Dir: Vondie Curtis-Hall, Starring Mariah Carey, Max Beesley, Terrence Dashon Howard, Da Brat, Tia     Texada, Valerie Pettiford, Ann Magnuson, Dorian Harewood, Grant Nickalls, Eric Benét, Padma Lakshmi, Don Ackerman, and Ed Sahely)

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BY: DAVID PERRY

If Mariah Carey was hoping to prove acting abilities comparable to her singing abilities, she has incredibly succeeded. The pop singer takes a role adapted from Mrs. Norman Maine from A Star Is Born and turns it into long reaction shot with occasional moments of singing. Max Beesley playing Stephen Dorff playing Alec Baldwin doesn't help too much either. A near complete waste of time, Glitter has the occasionally nice directorial touch, but the overall horrid story and performances keep the film from ever going anywhere.

(Dir: Mark S. Waters, Starring Monica Potter, Freddie Prinze, Jr., Shalom Harlow, Ivana Milicevic, Sarah O'Hare, Tomiko Fraser, China Chow, Jay Brazeau, and Stanley DeSantis)

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BY: DAVID PERRY

In the least dispicable Freddie Prinze, Jr., film yet, a trio of models attempt to coerce Monica Potter into dating the secretive Prinze, who they learn may or may not be a murderer.  Potter and the models are fun, but the film just dwindles without a point for much of the second half and ultimately ends without a bang and with many hitches.

(Dir: Dennie Gordon, Starring David Spade, Brittany Daniel, Dennis Miller, Adam Beach, Christopher Walken, Jaime Pressly, Kid Rock, Erik Per Sullivan, Caroline Aaron, Fred Ward, and Hamilton Camp)

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BY: DAVID PERRY

The career of David Spade becomes even less understandable with this film, a starring vehicle almost as bad as his first solo effort, Lost & Found two years ago.  Spade's Joe Dirt lacks anything to speak of that is either funny or interesting, and the film finally just stands defiantly as a waste of time.  One bright spot: Christopher Walken.

(Dir: Doug McHenry, Starring LL Cool J, Jada Pinkett, Vivica A. Fox, Loretta Devine, Anthony Anderson, Toni Braxton, Cedric the Entertainer, Darius McCrary, Richard Grant, Whoopi Goldberg, Masasa, Dominic Hoffman, Patrice Moncell, and Clifton Davis)

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BY: DAVID PERRY

A family coming together for a funeral is meant for laughs in Kingdom Come, though the laughs rarely appear.  Beyond some fine work from the always fun Loretta Devine, this film would be near laughless.  However, an undernourished element of sentimentality counters some of the film detractors and allows it to come out mediocre instead of horrendous.

(Dir: Stephen Herek, Starring Mark Whalberg, Jennifer Aniston, Dominic West, Timothy Spall, Timothy Olyphant, Dagmara Dominczyk, Jason Flemyng, Rachel Hunter, Jason Bonham, Jeff Pilson, Zakk Wylde, Blas Elias, Matthew Glave, Stephan Jenkins, and Jamie Williams)

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BY: DAVID PERRY

With Moulin Rouge and Hedwig and the Angry Inch reinventing the rock opera, Rock Star stands tall as the only limp genre piece of the year.  Mark Wahlberg's rise to fame in the 80's rock world feels rather old-hat after he went through the same actions in Boogie Nights to better quality.  Timothy Spall, as the Porthos of the film's band, brings something of note to the otherwise useless proceedings.

(Dir: Michael Tollin, Starring Freddie Prinze, Jr., Jessica Biel, Fred Ward, Bruce Davison, Jason Gedrick, Matthew Lillard, Brittany Murphy, Marc Blucas, Brian Dennehy, Corey Pearson, Christian Kane, Wilmer Valderrama, Zena Grey, and Gabriel Mann)

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BY: DAVID PERRY

In the baseball variation on Varsity Blues, Freddie Prinze, Jr., plays ball and tries to get the girl.  The film has been made countless times at different settings, though Bull Durham succeeded with the story and the setting.  Fred Ward and Bruce Davison get the unfortunate job of playing the Montague-Capulet dueling fathers.

(Dir: Pat O'Connor, Starring Keanu Reeves, Charlize Theron, Jason Isaacs, Greg Germann, Liam Aiken, Robert Joy, Lauren Graham, Michael Rosenbaum, Frank Langella, Jason Kravits, and Ray Baker)

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BY: DAVID PERRY

One might think that directors would notice the mistake that Joan Chen made with Autumn in New York and take heed, but that is not the case with Pat O'Connor (Dancing at Lughnasa), who reworks the Autumn story for her Sweet November.  Charlize Theron, in her attempt to appear in 75% of the Hollywood product, makes her dramatic lead debut to dismal effect.  And Keanu?  Well, let's just say that Richard Gere did the part better.

(Dir: Demian Lichtenstein, Starring Kurt Russell, Kevin Costner, Courtney Cox, Christian Slater, Kevin Pollak, David Arquette, Jon Lovitz, Howie Long, Thomas Haden Church, Bokeem Woodbine, Ice-T, David Kaye, and Louis Lombardi)

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BY: DAVID PERRY

An opening with CGI scorpions wrestling could be the most foreboding images ever to set the stage for a bad film.  The premise -- Elvis-impersonator robbers -- has about as much potential for interest as a Keystone Kops skit played on radio.  And the romantic angle to Kurt Russell and Courtney Cox is the least believable pairing of the year.

(Dir: Mark Brown, Starring Vivica A. Fox, Morris Chestnut, Anthony Anderson, Wendy Raquel Robinson, Tamala Jones, Bobby Brown, Mo'Nique, Ray Wise, Dondre T. Whitfield, Gabrielle Union, and Zatella Beatty)

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BY: DAVID PERRY

Light and fluffy and completely forgettable relationship comedy Two Can Play That Game is anchored by a nice performance from Vivica A. Fox. The rest of the cast, though, feel like they are straining to get through the hokum filled screenplay by director Mark Brown. Best of all, though, the film proves that a female version of Tomcats can sufficiently refrain from deplorable gross-out comedy.

(Dir: Adam Shankman, Starring Jennifer Lopez, Matthew McConaughey, Bridgette Wilson, Justin Chambers, Judy Greer, Alex Rocco, Joanna Gleason, Charles Kimbrough, Kevin Pollak, Fred Willard, Lou Myers, Frances Bay, and Kathy Najimy)

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BY: DAVID PERRY

An innocuous little film that is neither threatening nor terribly enjoyable, The Wedding Planner stands as a distraction for easy video-rental perusal.  Even still, it does not offer much beyond a couple cute set pieces and a nice Kevin Pollak appearance.